Get Kinky With Your Oatmeal: Do You Want It Sweet, Salty, or Savory?

If you’re remotely health conscious and believe in starting your morning with a truly healthy breakfast, theres a good chance you’ve had whole grain oatmeal at least once. If you’re like me, on days not intended for fasting, you more than likely eat oatmeal EVERY morning. By now I imagine you’re groaning incredulously–how the hell can she eat the same thing for breakfast EVERY morning. Let me articulate my motivation for this:

When you eat at least one meal that is the same meal every day, a few things happen:

https://www.healthline.com/health/eating-the-same-thing-pros-and-cons#1

You save time and energy where you previously would spend on deciding what to eat(planning, trips to the grocery store, indecisiveness, etc)

You create a healthy habit with little to no effort on your part. When you’ve created trust between you and your appetite your body knows you’re going to feed it something satisfying. Your cravings will be more manageable if you eat the same meal (just one meal/snack, not ALL of your meals), at the same time every day.

As you may already be aware from my previous post, Deez Nuts: Nutrient Powerhouse, nuts are another food item I like to eat EVERY day. One of the driving reasons behind this is that I actually had a very bad habit of over eating on cashews. As a consequence I created a binge relationship with them where I would eat 18 servings of cashews in one sitting, after fast. Yikes. I would then forbid myself from having them until I couldn’t take it anymore, and thus again binge on cashews.

Sounds funny, but if you’re struggling with addiction to a certain food, I would eat it everyday. That’s right. Eat that shit everyday till it loses its power.

For me, I no longer binge on cashews when I can tell myself “okay, you’re done for today, but you can have another serving tomorrow”. It’s all about your relationship with food and the dialogue you are creating between you and the food you’re obsessing over. I’m never telling myself no I can’t have any, just that I can’t have any more until later. If you want chocolate cake every fucking day, eat a slice–EVERY DAY! Obviously eat a reasonable and measured amount, and stop when you’re done. That chocolate cake is not as valuable to you when you know you can have it every day if you want. The whole concept is to devalue the food, instead of glorifying it by making it a scarce resource.

Anyway, with eating the same damn thing for breakfast every morning, you can end up getting really creative with something like oatmeal. Oatmeal has a very nondescript taste which kinda makes it like that pair of perfectly fitting black jeans that go with literally every clothing item you have in your closet. That being said, you can dress it up, you can dress it down, you can be safe for work or sexy for the night. Oatmeal works a lot the same way.

The regular: as a novice simply trying to fuel your body, you might start off eating oatmeal as plain as it gets. 1/4 or 1/2 cup of dry oats. Add water. Consume. img_2159

This is the most boring way to eat oatmeal. It’s the vanilla sex of oatmeal. I personally prefer things a bit kinkier.

Regular with a kick(ADD SALT!) : If you wanna be a little naughty, the next stage to making your oatmeal a little exciting is to add a pinch of salt. Ironically, it brings out the sweet undertones of the grains. I personally add salt to my oatmeal every-time I cook it as I prefer the taste.

Sweet: Sometimes youre feeling some kinda way. You may not be in the mood for some kinky shit but the regular just wont do! For such occasions when I’m craving baked goods sometimes I like to trick my body with a serving of oatmeal. The easiest way for me to do this is add strawberries, a dash of salt, and some cream. Literally smells like cookies. Taste like dessert. The key here is not to overdo the cream. A similar effect can be achieved with a banana or adding a reasonable amount of brown sugar. Hows that for a twist on plain old “vanilla” oatmeal?

Sweet & Savory: Sometimes sweet oatmeal isn’t what you’re craving. Sometimes you need a little more. This is the equivalent of receiving oral sex from a partner who touches ALLLL the bases. They give you a little bit of everything to really leave you satisfied. Yup. This is when things really start getting kinky–drop a lighlty salted over easy egg into your favorite spin on sweet oatmeal. Thank me later. My go to for a sweet and savory theme is brown sugar oatmeal with an egg.

Salty: If you don’t like adding sugar to your meals, oatmeal is a great food to have on your menu. Not just because it taste fine without sugar, but because it also taste great as a salty dish. Oatmeal can be consumed much like grits. My favorite way to eat salty oatmeal is to pair it with a protein. This is usually eggs or fish for me…but if you’re feeling bold definitely try bacon! You wont regret it. Otherwise, I usually go for scrambled eggs or tuna fish in my oatmeal. Sounds horrifying…but I promise it’s the best. You can pretty much shred up any meat and drop it into your oats. Makes for a delicious evening meal or a well balanced breakfast.

Add Greens!! So I actually get a lot of shit for this one. No pun intended. When people see me eating oatmeal with vegetables it down right disturbs them. For that reason alone its definitely on the kinkier side of ways to eat your oatmeal. But before you judge, think about it…plain oatmeal is a grain. Like rice. If you can eat it with rice, you can eat it with oatmeal! My favorite variation of oatmeal with greens is a cup full of spinach every morning with my oatmeal. Ill then pair that with a handful of mixed nuts. My body loves the combination of healthy antioxidants, satisfying fibre, energizing carbohydrates, and sustaining protein. It’s honestly my favorite right now and the leading reason why I’m sitting here typing this post…So yeah, have at it. Get creative with your oatmeal and stop letting it bore you to death!

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